The usual caveats apply. Take this however you will, use it wherever it applies. I’d rather you judge me for being real than love me for being fake. It is what it is.
I’ve said it before and will continue to say it until the ones who need to hear have heard, if the only factor in your assessment of whether or not to deal with a person, do business with them, build a relationship with them, in deciding whether you deem them good, bad, indifferent, etcetera is who they USED to hang with, I’d like to offer you some food for thought. Some of the most famous betrayals in the history of mankind were untaken by people who USED to run with the crew, and these treacherous acts were born out of jealousy and plain, old-fashioned greed. Satan used to be one of God's Angels. Judas ran with Jesus’s crew, and that story is so widely-known that people, literally thousands of years later, still regularly use his name in place of the word traitor. Even if you’re not Christian, you can see this scenario repeated throughout history; Hades/Zeus, Loki/Thor, “Et Tu Brute?” Anyone?
In my opinion, where someone used to be is a starting point, not the only factor. Maybe when a person was in prison they ran with a particular gang and did things they weren’t proud of in order to stay alive, does that mean they are forever a bad person who can never be trusted? On the other side of that, I live in Texas, where we have a lot of love for Selena, the Tejano Singer, who was betrayed by someone who supposedly loved her, the head of her fan club, in the worst possible way. She lost her Young & Beautiful life, to someone she knew fairly well, and thought she could trust, may she Rest well in Power. The point is this, trust is not static, and though it takes time and effort to build, it can easily be destroyed in a matter of minutes, in a single act.
A side-dish to go with your food for thought: Why did the prior favorable relationship end? Certainly, amicable splits are possible. Note: There’s a reason potential employers ask interviewee’s how they ended their prior employment, and may even contact former employers for verification. IJS.
I don’t really care so much what people say about me because it is usually a reflection of who they are. [2]
Saying this again too, character is who you are, reputation is what people think of you. It is probably wise not to worry what people think about you. Note: what people think of you and what people know about you are not the same, and what people say about you is a whole other thing. So, where a person may think you are conceited/standoffish based on your being silent during a few brief encounters with you, you could very well just be shy and too nervous to speak, and your close friends and family know this about you and thus see you differently. You could be choir director, at the church every time the doors open and people think you are dedicated in service to the Lord, meanwhile, you have been making passes at the married pastor, and you and pastor know that you are actually dedicated to Temptation. Do people really change, or do they simply reveal who they truly are? Do we ever truly know what’s in another person’s mind? Reasons I don’t really too much care for humans, IJS.
Gotta say this too, using God or Jesus in every other sentence is not evidence of a person’s relationship with God or proof that they are a good person. The age-old adage goes, ACTions speak louder than words, yes? Satan knows the scriptures. I mean, can one really expect to roll up on Jesus and tempt him without having some familiarity with what would move him? Judas was chosen as a disciple by Jesus and walked directly beside him for three (3) years. He was there for some pretty momentous events, like the Sermon on the Mount. He heard His teachings, witnessed His miracles, and even participated in healing others and still, when the time came, he fulfilled his purpose. Someone had to do it, in order for the prophesy to be fulfilled. Coincidence or Fate? Y’all know I don’t believe in coincidences.
Jesus had the advantage of being God, He knew what was coming. The rest of us just have to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Important Note: One cannot truly betray without first being trusted. Reasons I’m not “religious-y” (my lil’ made up word).
A lil’ garnish for your meal:
As human beings we suffer from an innate tendency to jump to conclusions; to judge people too quickly and pronounce them failures or heroes without due consideration of the actual facts and ideals of the period.[3]
People are not always who we think they are. It’s usually wise to treat everyone as well as you can whether you think they are “important” or not. The harried person you refused to hold the elevator for on your way up to your job interview could be the interviewer you wind up sitting before, sweating, embarrassed, praying they don’t hold grudges. Even if they’re not, how about doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do?
Returning to the idea favor based on connections, we all have a purpose and our own path. If it’s meant, no one can stop it. If it shouldn’t be, no one can make it happen. Though Jesus had disciples, some of the greatest preachers and teachers of His Word never walked with him on Earth, in the physical sense. The Spirit moves in whatever way It will. Sometimes the person you think is The One simply isn’t. You can follow them to the ends of the Earth, for all the wrong reasons, ignoring every warning sign on the way, and find yourself in a bad place. Sometimes the person you always thought of as least valuable, ends up being the chosen one. You will likely regret having stepped on them in the past, when you look up one day and they are the one with the power, the authority, the influence. (exs: King David, Joseph and His Brothers, Cinderella and her Stepsisters?) Hopefully we always feel badly when we treat others poorly, no matter who they are, and we correct our behavior, but then again…humans. Sigh. Allowing a little favor in the case of someone who comes well-recommended or who knew a friend of a friend is not necessarily bad. Continuing to ignore, or accepting, or condoning horrendous behavior from someone based on the favor of a prior relationship, does not compute.
How you move forward in this thing called life is your choice. At the very least, take a moment, pay attention, learn something, and make educated decisions. Go with your heart, if that’s your path, or use logic if that’s your way. I wish you the best in all relationps and preparedness for dealing with heartbreak and healthy dose of quick bounce-back, Wherever U Go, Whatever U do, as needed.
Much Love 2 U All,
Violet
@violetesq
@violetbinteractive
Always on Our Minds ~ Forever in Our Hearts
[1] Prince, Judas Smile, The Chocolate Invasion, NPG Records 2004 (Sam Jennings - Album Cover Artwork).
[2] Prince Rogers Nelson.
[3] Id.
